Thelma's dialogue

“Thelma, I want the truth.” Steven Dudley’s chubby red face pushed into hers. Thelma looked down at her stomach and wanted to throw up.
“I went down to that gym, you know, I saw the two of you. You are such a slut, you know that.” Steven went to the cabinet and took down the vodka and poured himself a tall glass.
“Steve, you don’t mean that. Please don’t talk that way. I got to tell you something, it’s important please.” Thelma went to grab his hand but he pulled back.
“Don’t you dare touch me. I know exactly what you want to tell me. You’ve been fucking your trainer. Do you think I’m dumb? How long did you think you could have kept this from me?” He took another big gulp and threw the glass down. Glass and the leftover liquid flew everywhere and Thelma started to cry.
“Please Steve it was a horrible mistake. I’m so sorry.” At the thought of the phone call she received earlier, she started crying harder. “But I really do need to tell you something it’s important.”
“What could be more important than our marriage breaking up Thelma? You are such a selfish bitch sometimes.” Steven looked down at the mess he made and sighed, “I don’t think I can handle anything else.”
“I’m pregnant Steve.” Thelma looked down at her now flat stomach and couldn’t even imagine it with a child inside. She looked up at Steve and saw the question in his eyes.
“I don’t know who the father is.”

Thelma action story

Here is my Thelma Dudley action scene:

Thelma’s arms ached but she refused to stop. The elliptical machine read 10:01 and she groaned. Her breathing quickened and sweat ran down her heavily made up face, face for three her husband would say. When she saw her young Russian trainer approaching; she quickly dried her face, sucked in the stomach fat that was hanging over gold-sequined sweat pants and adjusted the zipper on her top to show off her ample assets.
"Hi" she said, trying not to pant.
"Hi yourself. Ten minutes already that's great Thelma."
"Ten minutes already? Wow I feel like I just got on."
"You're doing great. I think you're my star pupil." He put his hand on her back and when it slid down farther than what is appropriate, she smiled.
"Maybe I can teach you some things too." she said and winked.

SNOW DAY and Whippoorwill Critique!!

Though I did have some classes today, it is the perfect day to stay at home and snuggle with your computer and blog. For the story that we had to read Whippoorwill, like I kind of got into last time I didn't really enjoy. I guess I saw no real point in the story. The story didn't really have any plot or lead anywhere and neither character were really interesting or made me want to read more. Maybe it's me but I don't believe a stage fright trucker. Besides this there's no real conflict (besides some of his homophobic fears). Also the dialogue felt kind of fake. At points I felt maybe the trucker was a little unstable or slow but I never got a definite feeling about him. There was some good descriptions though. He definitely had some interesting word choices. Maybe if he added some suspense and a dramatic ending it would feel like the story actually went somewhere. It seems like he builds up a whole bunch of suspense and then nothing. To be fair, maybe it just wasn't my kind of story but I didn't enjoy it at all.

Thelma and Whippoorwill

In class, we wrote these descriptions of a name Thelma Dudley. The first thing I thought about was this gaudy, 50- year old trying to get rid of her white trash roots. It was weird. I decided to re-work it, like Professor Selgin said in class, so here it goes:

Thelma Dudley decided that a mid-life crisis was exactly what she needed. Fifty had hit her hard, but she thought she pulled it off with her tacky rhinestone jewelry and big blonde hair that any Davenport, Tennesse girl would of been proud of--not that she cared what anyone in Davenport really thought anyway. She had finally gotten all her five sons out of her house, two in unsteady marriages due to unexpected pregancies, and the other three succeeding (hopefully) in Conn. Community College. Her now sagging husband was interested more in the Mercedes in the garage and the Emily in his office; so she emersed herself in her new hobby:shopping. The more rhinestones and glitter the better. It was funny because growing up her mother never had the means to take her shopping, forget about rhinestones. She was forced to wear her two older brothers hand-me downs, which usually included a lot of flannel and defintely no glitter. The kids at Davenport Elementary made it their job to make fun of her out of date attire- it didn't help that she was overweight. Her mother had tried to understand her somewhat unruly youngest child but years of unknown men coming and going through their trailer and the smell of alcohol on her breath as she yelled at Thelma, made her lose all respect at an early age. It came to no surprise to anyone when the youngest Smith child decided to run away to Connecticut, the exact opposite of Davenport everyone thought, with Steven Dudley, the quiet computer nerd who always stood up for Thelma. Within a year she became Thelma Dudley.

I hope it's better :) I think I added a lot of details and made some things abstract and other things more concrete. The other part of the assignment I wasn't all that excited about. I didn't really enjoy Whippoorwill all that much. I'm interested to see what everyone else has to say about it.

First class

We had our first Fiction class last week and I just finished the homework ( I know I'm an extreme procrastinator). The story was pretty funny, in a kind of messed up way. I chose to write about a girl Marci and a run-in with a famous actor who robbed a bank. I hope it's not cliche, it took me awhile to think of it so I'm crossing my fingers. I think I'm going to learn a lot in this class so I'm pretty excited.